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This is a story about four people named Everybody, Some- body, Anybody, and Nobody...

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

CROSSDRESSERS AND THE LAW For those that are so inclined and are wondering what the status of our preferred lifestyle is with the authorities, here are some bits and pieces of data over the last six

DEENA'S BITS AND PIECES

months on the topic of transves- tism versus the law. With informa- tion from a former police officer and a barmaid who deals with crossdressers very frequently, we managed to draw up some basic guidelines and clarify some as- pects here and there so you don't get your butt thrown in jail.

Basically speaking, dressing in women's clothes is not in itself illegal. However, where you go when dressed does have some le- gal implications. By Michigan State law, it is illegal for a crossdresser to use the ladies' washroom in any public establishment even if the management permits crossdressers on the premises. The reason for this is that a cross- dresser is still a man no matter how passable or feminine he may look or act, as far as bathroom is concerned. A crossdresser entering a ladies' washroom is the same as a male

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entering a la- dies' washroom and can be ar- rested, ticketed, and even held in custody until he posts bond and may face a jail term of up to ninety days if convicted. Yes, there are many crossdressers that do use the ladies' wash- room and are getting away with it. A crossdresser is taking his chances when going into a la- dies' washroom in an unfamiliar establishment, and could risk the previously mentioned legal aftermath. If you run into a situation where the

manage- ments bars you from the ladies' room, don't ar- gue. They may

call the police if you start any back talk or don't immediately comply. They also have the legal right to kick you out of the place alto- gether under the "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" jurisdiction based on old English Common Law.

For the most part, when fre- quenting public places, the "we reserve..." rule is usually the main justification as to whether they are or are not going to permit crossdressers in their bar, cafe, store, etc., of which they can le- gally prosecute under. A recent situation saw two crossdressers getting hauled down to the County Jail after making one too many attempts to get served in a straight bar that had already told them to leave. Their bond was set at $100 and one didn't get out until a friend showed up with the money. They were later fined a couple of hun- dred dollars and got six months probation. If the incident occurred again, they would be looking at thirty days in jail.

most

Fortunately, crossdressers rarely get incarcer- ated, mainly because they usually check out the place before enter- ing and when not permitted, leave right then and there. At that time, they have not broken any law. A lot of us are too afraid to go out in public anyway, so maybe shyness is blessed.

However, if the management itself decides to permit crossdressers, there is not much legal jurisdiction from preventing such. Just recently, a group of crossdressers, including myself, went on a shopping trip to a ladies' apparel store after being invited by the owner who happened to know the woman who sponsors the club. Although it was night, the owner said we could come back anytime when dressed if we wanted to shop there (she wants the business). This is completely legal to do, because the owner elected to take the option from the "we reserve..." rule, and there is no law otherwise forbidding crossdressers from being there.

Driving a car, perhaps going out on the town, usually doesn't present a problem, unless you get

DEENA'S BITS AND PIECES

pulled over. Most of the time, you don't get pulled over unless you are speeding, have a bad taillight, or look like you are drunk. But, should it happen, you will have to show a valid driver's license. To avoid complications, make sure you have no outstanding traffic tickets or there may be a bench warrant out for your arrest and the police will haul you in to the station to pay up the arrears wearing silk gown, wig and all!

When dealing with the police, as explained by an ex-officer, don't volunteer any information like where you are going and what you are up to. Just answer the questions as simply and quickly as possible. There is nothing illegal about driving when crossdressing unless your vision is obstructed from too large a wig or you are dressed indecently. Police are generally not out to get you for being a crossdresser, they are just interested in upholding the law. Don't make a big fuss about it and they won't either. I, myself, was in a car with a friend late at night when we were pulled over, and besides a few smart-aleck remarks from one of the cops (the other thought I was cute), we didn't get hassled except they told us to move on, which is all they usually say anyway. My friend happened to retort the officer's comment, and that seemed to shut him up. This incident occurred late

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at night, and compared to the weirdos and other trouble the police see at that hour, we didn't seem to faze them much.

There's a story that someone went out at night crossdressed for the first time and was spotted instantly by a police officer, who told him to "get off the street or I will arrest you." This happened about 35 years ago, when things were not so liberal. The hard part of the story is the guy was so scared that he never went out in public crossdressed to this damn day. Don't let a scrap with the cops cause a lifelong traumatic experience. Most police would agree that we might be weird, but you don't have to get that uptight about it.

In closing, we would like to remind everyone that the police are merely enforcing the law as they see it and most of them never have been to college, let alone law school, so what do they know? If you get ticketed or arrested, remember it is the judge that will be determining the crime and you can usually work things out, provided you don't start any trouble. Refrain from back talk and get yourself a lawyer. We don't live in communist countries, so even if our preferred lifestyle is not always acceptable, we shouldn't be incarcerated for it either.

[Monarch Social Club Newsletter]

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